I know my baby’s a girl. Not because I counted the days since Daniel and I last had sex, not because of a dream and not due to a psychic vision. I just know. I know the same way I know the sound of lawn mowers will always wake me on Saturday morning, the same way Daniel’s grungy bathrobe will always end up on the bedroom floor. I know.
I tell Daniel this and he agrees. Without any debate we decide on the name Angelina. Daniel immediately goes into the second bedroom and begins to clear his belongings out of it for Angelina.
I picture Angelina’s curly hair like Daddy’s and her feisty personality. I talk to her. I tell her that we are getting ready for her. I joke about her Daddy cleaning out his “man room”. I count the days I have accrued of vacation for maternity leave. I take a rolled up sweatshirt and put it under my shirt to see what I will look like. I will be cute pregnant, I am sure.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Two Lines
Two lines. I see two lines. One very faint and one much darker, but I see two lines. After 5 months of trying I am pregnant.
I start to worry. Why is one line so faint when it is already one week past my period? Why did the test show up positive now, a very faint positive when I have been taking two tests a day since my period was due? Why am I cramping?
I run out of the bathroom and tell Daniel our pregnancy news frantically while dialing my Dr’s office. “Something is wrong” I say, “I know something is wrong”.
Dr. Hamilton as usual cracks a few jokes and tells me not to worry. He is going to send me to the lab to have my H something, something levels checked. He says that will tell him if the pregnancy is viable. I don’t understand what viable means, I don’t know what these H levels are. I don’t know how I can be pregnant but not completely pregnant. I want to stop and read about H levels and what viable means on the internet before Daniel and I go to the lab. But we have to go, so I do.
Daniel is excited. He starts to talk about everything he will do with our baby. I tell him not to be excited because I think something is wrong. He says not to take the fun out of everything and continues to describe the toys he will buy and how they will play together and watch cartoons on the couch on Sundays. “Who lives in a jungle under the sea, Sponge Bob, Square Pants…………” he starts to sing.
My stomach hurts. I am hungry and I wish Daniel wouldn’t be so excited. One of the lines was faint and I can’t stop thinking about it.
After the blood test we come home and wait. Dr. Hamilton calls us at home the same day to tell us that our HCG levels indicate that we are pregnant. He says it looks viable but that the levels are still low so we will have to keep an eye on them.
Daniel grabs his car keys. “Where are you going?” I ask. “To buy toys” he says. I start to laugh, pick up the phone and start calling my family with the good news. I am pregnant. I am really pregnant. I am going to be a Mommy.
I start to worry. Why is one line so faint when it is already one week past my period? Why did the test show up positive now, a very faint positive when I have been taking two tests a day since my period was due? Why am I cramping?
I run out of the bathroom and tell Daniel our pregnancy news frantically while dialing my Dr’s office. “Something is wrong” I say, “I know something is wrong”.
Dr. Hamilton as usual cracks a few jokes and tells me not to worry. He is going to send me to the lab to have my H something, something levels checked. He says that will tell him if the pregnancy is viable. I don’t understand what viable means, I don’t know what these H levels are. I don’t know how I can be pregnant but not completely pregnant. I want to stop and read about H levels and what viable means on the internet before Daniel and I go to the lab. But we have to go, so I do.
Daniel is excited. He starts to talk about everything he will do with our baby. I tell him not to be excited because I think something is wrong. He says not to take the fun out of everything and continues to describe the toys he will buy and how they will play together and watch cartoons on the couch on Sundays. “Who lives in a jungle under the sea, Sponge Bob, Square Pants…………” he starts to sing.
My stomach hurts. I am hungry and I wish Daniel wouldn’t be so excited. One of the lines was faint and I can’t stop thinking about it.
After the blood test we come home and wait. Dr. Hamilton calls us at home the same day to tell us that our HCG levels indicate that we are pregnant. He says it looks viable but that the levels are still low so we will have to keep an eye on them.
Daniel grabs his car keys. “Where are you going?” I ask. “To buy toys” he says. I start to laugh, pick up the phone and start calling my family with the good news. I am pregnant. I am really pregnant. I am going to be a Mommy.
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