Two Lines

Two lines. I see two lines. One very faint and one much darker, but I see two lines. After 5 months of trying I am pregnant.

I start to worry. Why is one line so faint when it is already one week past my period? Why did the test show up positive now, a very faint positive when I have been taking two tests a day since my period was due? Why am I cramping?

I run out of the bathroom and tell Daniel our pregnancy news frantically while dialing my Dr’s office. “Something is wrong” I say, “I know something is wrong”.

Dr. Hamilton as usual cracks a few jokes and tells me not to worry. He is going to send me to the lab to have my H something, something levels checked. He says that will tell him if the pregnancy is viable. I don’t understand what viable means, I don’t know what these H levels are. I don’t know how I can be pregnant but not completely pregnant. I want to stop and read about H levels and what viable means on the internet before Daniel and I go to the lab. But we have to go, so I do.

Daniel is excited. He starts to talk about everything he will do with our baby. I tell him not to be excited because I think something is wrong. He says not to take the fun out of everything and continues to describe the toys he will buy and how they will play together and watch cartoons on the couch on Sundays. “Who lives in a jungle under the sea, Sponge Bob, Square Pants…………” he starts to sing.

My stomach hurts. I am hungry and I wish Daniel wouldn’t be so excited. One of the lines was faint and I can’t stop thinking about it.

After the blood test we come home and wait. Dr. Hamilton calls us at home the same day to tell us that our HCG levels indicate that we are pregnant. He says it looks viable but that the levels are still low so we will have to keep an eye on them.

Daniel grabs his car keys. “Where are you going?” I ask. “To buy toys” he says. I start to laugh, pick up the phone and start calling my family with the good news. I am pregnant. I am really pregnant. I am going to be a Mommy.